Back in the day (and by that I mean a few years ago) my family situation was messed up. It wasn't always messed up, it was once good. But then came the DDay and you know...
It's not really such a big deal since over 50% of American families go through the same thing as I did. But I truely believe when it happens to your family, it's different. You think you're the only one. The only one to have ever split holidays among family, the only person who's family doesn't speak to each other because one person said something inappropriate but you're not allowed to know what that comment is (just know that they hate each other), the only person to have to spend 4 painstaking days in the middle of butthole USA and chalk it up to spending time with the family.
I should really put a disclaimer in here somewhere and say that life is really not so crappy for me. It's not. It just isn't. But the point of this blog is (or rather the point was) a place to rant and rave as I choose. My space, my thoughts (as irrational and quick off the tounge as they may be).
So back to the butthole....
Butthole, USA that is -- it smells there. It blows there. Pretty much I'm not sure why planes even fly there. But there must be people other than myself who have to go visit some form of dysfuntion and that's where "home" is. But let me get this straight -- Butthole is not my home. It is the residence of a person I am related to. And the residence of a bunch of people I am NOT related to but they like to talk to me like I care about them and am related to them. Because HONESTLY nobody but family should have to listen to the amount of nagging and complaining and talking about nothing that these people do. About christmas boxes in the garage. Seriously? I don't care how many boxes are in the garage. I'm not going to get them. And I'm not putting up the 10 tons of Christmas crap that you want to decorate all of butthole with. I'm not interested. This might make me a Scrooge, but really I don't see the point. You nag all damn day, you talk about how HE said HE wanted to put up all the decorations in butthole (Hello, have you met him??? He's a liar and anyone could have told you this.), you complain about how butthole isn't decorated. I can't take it. Stop talking.
I spent $350 and 3 perfectly normal days where I could have been anywhere but butthole. Here's what I got instead (in no particular order):
- a headache from the nagging
- tunnel vision from the amount of television I watched. I like TV and I like football...but seriously, I don't think ANYONE likes TV or football that much. Except you, sorry I was mistaken.
- I read 3 whole 350+ page books. I have completed all the reading material I brought. It was only a four day trip
-a thanksgiving dinner with the teenanger shelter of Butthole
-a better understanding of why the rest of the family has "given up trying"